Sunday, 18th, September, 2011.

I very nearly didn’t get out of bed this morning, I cannot remember what I was dreaming about but it was so haunting and involving I never wanted to leave. But I did and I got a lift up the mountain with Avon, Tomos boyfriend. As we wound up the mountain the view was promising. The fresh snow from the storm lay abundant on the peaks gleaming in the sunshine like a mirage. When we got to the upper car park and were just out and getting our ski boots on the warm sunny weather and clear visibility took a sudden turn. A chilly ran through and the sun disappeared and the mountain was behind a swiftly drawn curtain of fog. ‘‘There’s going to be a super storm coming through at about midday” one of the roadys told us as he parked a car next to Avons. ” A super storm?” I said with a little sarcasm looking seriously at Avon. The word ”super storm” didn’t really arouse my respect.

The superstorm didn’t show its self all day. The snow was deep and sticky; I took a level 5 lesson with another kiwi and an instructor, working on smooth curving turns instead of sudden skidding turns. The only problem with the old curving turns is that you have to go faster and although the snow was amazing the visibility wasn’t. Often a shroud of white rolled in and all you could see was a few people whizzing about and the ground all looked flat and even. Your feet would tell you otherwise. ‘‘Oh this is rather fun what a nice little stretch I am going down now and whoooooooo! Where did that bump come from didn’t see that…. oh I am glad I just missed that dip going down god knows where to my lefl…JESUS! I am falling, no I am not I am just going down a very steep slope …where am I?”

There were plenty of clear moments, offering stunning views of the sun bathed slopes, I managed to come across a long deep gully, ice cracking off the bare rocks high high above, I made my way steadily and slowly down wary of the many red ”danger cliff” signs about. Although the cliffs were nothing more than small drop offs I didn’t know this until I was past them and every time I saw the signs my heart beat a little faster. Just down one very steep little cliff I hurtled down and saw a daughter and young man huddled around the form of a woman, sized up in pain holding here helmeted head. A ski patrol man was tending to her, asking her if she could feel anything or if there was any discomfort. I asked if I could help at all but the patrol man said I wasn’t needed so I kept on down the marvelous gully gently riding up one side then down to the other side of the gully. Troops of mainly snow boarders would expertly and quickly pass me gathering speed and using the gully like a half pipe to perform tricks, they launched themselves fearlessly off the unknown cliffs, sometimes crashing at the bottom. I thought that I don’t really have the desire to do such craziness’s right now, maybe when my level of skiing improves I will but I hope not, really I cannot afford to be in hospital for many months, or hobbling around with a cast unable to work.


The day was spent working on my posture, I ditched my poles half way through the day and focused on using my body for balance instead of my poles, my legs are now used to skiing and even after a whole day of it I wasn’t tired.

I was hungry though and when I went home I made myself a huge lamb stake with eggs. Even after that I felt like I hadn’t eaten at all.

I went to the gym and poured out my energy, running so long and gradually increasing the speed and incline that my lungs burnt and became heavy, my whole body screaming for me to stop but I didn’t I pushed and pushed until I managed to knock off the safety key and the machine stopped suddenly. With reflexes that surprised me I didn’t actually keep running and slam myself into the control panel in front I managed to stop at exactly the same time as the machine did. I stood panting and steaming. Working out is additive, the sensation of pushing yourself and the natural chemicals released are addictive.


After the gym I had another meal and a few beers and I sunk into a darkly exhausted state. The whole days abundance of joy was forgotten and I thought it all wasted, I brooded and lay in bed before sleep, all disgruntled but with nothing to pin my dissatisfaction on.


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