Thursday, August 26, 2010. In the afternoon
we went to the famous hot spring in the communist resort Mum works in. We entered
the large doors with a big TV hung above the doorway. I was ushered by a friendly
old man into the men’s room (inadequately concealed by a small towel covering
the top third of the door). Men unashamedly whipping out there little willies
pissing in the showers already a rich dark yellow from the years of urine abuse
on the walls and patches of the floor. I skipped though to the main hot spring
and instead of encountering a rock pool of serene monkeys in a mountain valley
being bubbled and caressed by volcanic minerals I found an ordinary swimming
pool with an inordinate amount of grown adults. I have been here before so I
was not surprised to find a moneyless pool. But whenever I hear the word “hotspring”
An image of those Japanese monkeys in misty pools always comes to mind.
The majority of the people in the pool
where and could not swim, Saved from going under by inner tubes blown up into
rubber rings. They all gawped at the few God like men slowly splashed their way
up and down the pool without the inner tube. Sarah and I fell in and I just
lounged by the jetting pump on the metal rails by the side. I watched Sarah
trying to traverse the hordes of none swimmers in the shallow end while I (the
great one who though it all out) stayed in the deep end where the majority
could not actually get to.
Sarah looked miffed as she constantly
bumped into paddlers and I mussed at her and held back my animosity for the
unswimable hoards. I was enjoying the jetting back massage from the pump far
too much to let any negativity in. Eventually Sarah’s gripping eyes propelled
me toward her unhappy persons and she informed me of what I already knew “there
are too many people here, I want to go”. I nodded sage like and I scooped her
on my back and in slow motion jumped though the water to the edge and out. Although
the showers looked like a disused squatters loo the shower where jetting out
the same hot spring water. so I took my sweet time and had a traditional Tim
half an hour shower in the steamy hot water, surrounded by the pissing people (
thank God and Mum that I have my crocs to protect me from these viruses). I did
the classy thing and holding onto my dignity I took a discreet wee down my leg.
Nobody none the wiser.