Friday, 9th, July, 2010. I got
the bus to work at 6 in the evening. Rush hour and the bus was jam packed. I
was impressed with how little it affected me. I remember back in the UK how a
short journey on a semi crowded tube would send me into a dark stupor about how
we are all just like cattle mooing our way to and from destinations. I got
stressed in crowed situations. I was on this stinky jammed bus for an hour and
it did nothing to get me down. I sullended my face and drained all the vital energy
to my imagination, I thought about going to uni in the UK and also what it
would be like in New Zealand. I got off the bus and went to my usually Friday
night lesson. Everyone was cheerful but nearing the end some people’s mobiles
kept going off and one of the students children kept on entering the class and disturbing
things. I told Wendy (the child’s mother) that it was too distracting for me to
have a kid in the class but two minutes later he came back in and then when I
was trying to explain a new section of the text book someone’s text message
went off and gave out an irritating “BRING WHOOP WHOOPP” sort of sound which
was equivalent to getting a very disrespectful slap in the face.


paused dramatically and massaged the bridge of my nose stressfully as if I had
been wearing a heavy pair of academic specs. I could feel my face heat up and
redden and my students stopped looking at their books and tapped into the tension
I was oozing.


“ I know you all have your own lives and
jobs but I think it’s very distracting to have phones going off during the
class”. The students all older than me looked a little embarrassed and shocked apart
from Leo who I could see totally agreed with me and would have probably joined
in if I had biffed Doris in the eye when her fucking Mobil went off.


“If you need to take a call, please put
your phone on silent and if you need to take it just go outside”. Doris a very
attractive shop manager looked stunned and said sorry to me. I rained in my
reaction to say “that’s alright” because it was far from alright I wanted to go
ape shit and thrash something there and then. I nipped off the end of the tense
ooze and then we got on with the lesson, I felt like I should have done this
little chat on our first class but I only took this class for a short time at
the beginning to cover for another teacher and I only found out last week that
they will continue to be under my tutor ledge for the duration of the summer
holidays. Usually the students say goodbye to me but this time only Leo said
bye and that was only because I said it to him first.


After the class I bought a can of beer and
honked on it on the bus journey back home. I met Adam at a bar and we had a few
and talked about our jobs and other things I cannot remember. I then got a
motorbike taxi back home. The driver was very nice I said it usually cost 5
yuan to get back home and he said it was only 4yuan. I was very shocked that he
actually cheapened the price. In China anything is possible


PART166, Badger, Badger, Badger

Thursday, 8th, July, 2010. I am officially
a badger. I was awake all night and slept for a few hours in the day time. It’s
rather fun actual, I miss all the heat of the day and at night I have the
entire world to myself. Darkness does not allow you to perceive the world’s
features so your sight, it reflected back on you and it bounces viciously into
your skull and ferrets around stirring up all the weirdness which you try not
to disturbed and which the blinding light of day does so well to keep in the
shadows. Life is like a tennis match, in the day you can see your opponent and
react accordingly, when you play at night you ignorantly hit the ball into the
blackness and it thwacks back at you from odd and silly angles. It’s what us
Badgers have to deal with, hitting our self in the face with a shovel.


At midnight Sarah and I took our Bamboo out
of their pots and replanted them outside. They had been infested with rather nippy
looking microscopic spiders who had lashed webs all over the leaves. I don’t
mind spiders, it’s just that they just freak the living bejeusues out of me and
I don’t want a whole cluster of arachnids skulking around my abode thank you
very much!


On a related matter I scoured the internet
and finally found a slightly reliably source, telling all the proper names for
groups of animals. Well nail me to a rubber cross and call me wobbly Jesus, the
names just go on and on!. I copied them all to this Blog entry but unfortunately
they didn’t reopen on my page as beautifully as they first appeared in their original
habitat. That is to say I tried my best to rearrange the names so they all appeared
as such


Albatross Rookery,         But they all actually appeared on my
blog as






if you want to read the scintillating and vastly superior web page just follow
this link here       If
not then I have managed to put a small group into their convenient horizontal places
and the rest I plainly could not be stuffed to do….so there!!!!   enjoy
and if you read them all I will clap for you 100 times for your effort.



Group Name

Albatross Rookery

Alligators Congregation

Apes Shrewdness, Troop

Antelope Herd

Ants Colony, Army, Swarm, Nest

Asses Pace, Herd, Drove

Auks Colony, Flock, Raft

Baboons Troop, Flange

Bacteria Culture

Badgers Cete, Colony, Set, Company

Barracudas Battery

Bats Colony, Cloud

Bass Shoal

Bears (General) Sloth, Sleuth

Bears (Cubs) Litter

Beavers Colony, Family

Bees Grist, Hive, Swarm, Nest

Birds (Chicks) Brood, Clutch

Birds (Flight) Flight

Birds (Game) Volary, Brace, Plump, Knob

Birds (Ground) Flock, Dissimulation

Birds (Sea) Wreck

Bison Herd

Bitterns Sedge, Seige

Bloodhounds Sute

Bobolinks Chain

Buffalo Herd, Troop, Gang, Obstinancy

Bullfinches Bellowing

Bullocks Drove

Butterflies Flight, Flutter, (Many more)

Buzzards Wake

Camels Caravan, Train, Flock

Capons Mews

Caribou Herd

Caterpillars Army

Cats (General) Clowder, Clutter, Pounce, Dout, Nuisance,
Glorying, Glare

Cats (Kittens) Kindle, Litter, Intrigue

Cats (Wild) Destruction

Cattle Drove, Herd, Team

Cheetahs Coalition

Chickens (General) Brood, Peep

Chickens (Chicks) Clutch, Chattering

Chinchilla Colony

Choughs Clattering

Clams Bed

Cobras Quiver

Cockroaches Intrusion

Cod Lap

Coots Cover, Raft

Cormorants Gulp

Cows Kine

Coyotes Band

Crabs Cast

Cranes Sedge, Seige

Crocodiles Bask, Float

Crows Murder, Horde, Parcel, Storytelling

Curlews Herd

Deer (General) Herd, Leash, Gang

Deer (Buck) Brace, Clash

Deer (Roe) Bevy

Dogs (General) Kennel

Dogs (Curs) Cowardice

Dogs (Hounds) Cry, Mute, Pack

Dogs (Puppies) Litter

Dogs (Wild) Pack

Dolphins Pod

Donkeys Drove, Pace, Herd

Dotterel Trip

Doves (General) Dule, Bevy, Cote, Dole, Paddling

Doves (Turtle) Pitying, Piteousness

Ducks (Flight) Flock

Ducks (Ground) Brace, badling

Ducks (Water) Raft, Team, Paddling

Dunlins Fling

Eagles Convocation, Aerie

Eels Swarm, Bed, Fry

Elephants Herd, Memory

Elk Gang, Herd

Emus Mob

Falcons Cast

Ferrets Business, Cast, Fesnying

Finches Charm

Fish (General) Draft, Nest, Shoal, School
("school" is possibly a corruption of shoal)

Fish (Caught) Catch, Drought, Haul

Flamingoe Stand, Flamboyance

Flies Business, Swarm, Cloud

Frogs Army, Colony, Knot

Fox Leash, Skulk, Earth, Lead, Troop

Geese (General) Flock     
( it was here that I gave up the job of horizontisising the words)

Geese (Flight)


Geese (Ground)

Gaggle, Herd, Corps




Cloud, Horde, Swarm




Tribe, Trip, Drove, Herd, Flock




Glint, Troubling


Band, Troop








Pack, Covey




Colony, Screech

Guinea Fowl


Hawks (General)


Hawks (Flight)


Hawks (Spiraling)





Sedge, Siege, Hedge


Army, Shoal




Nest, Bike

Horses (General)

Team, Harras, Stable, Troop, Stud (a group belonging to one

Horses (Colts)

Rag, Rake

Horses (Ponies)


Horses (Wild)









Horde, Nest, Swarm, Rabble, Plague


Party, Scold, Band


Smack, Brood


Troop, Mob, Herd




Exaltation, Ascension






Pride, Sault, Troop






Tiding, Gulp, Murder, Charm

Mallards (General)


Mallards (Flight)









Shoal, Steam, Swarm


Labor, Company, Movement


Troop, Barrel, Carload, Cartload, Tribe








Pack, Span, Barren, Rake




Romp, Bevy, Family, Raft


Parliament, Stare


Team, Yoke, Drove




Company, Pandemonium


Covey, Bew


Muster, Ostentation, Pride





Penguins (General)

Colony, Rookery, Huddle

Penguins (Nursery)


Pheasants (General)

Nest, Nye

Pheasants (Brood)


Pheasants (Take-Off)



Flight, Flock, Kit

Pigs (General)

Drift, Drove

Pigs (Boars)

Singular, Sounder

Pigs (Hogs)

Team, Passel, Drift, Parcel

Pigs (Piglets)

Litter, Farrow

Pigs (Swine)




Plovers (General)


Plovers (Flight)







Herd, Pod, School, Crowd, Shoal

Prairie Dogs





Bevy, Covey

Rabbits (General)

Colony, Warren, Bury, Trace, Trip

Rabbits (Domestic)


Rabbits (Hares)

Down, Husk

Rabbits (Jackrabbit)


Rabbits (Young)

Litter, Nest




Colony, Pack, Plague, Swarm




Unkindness, Storytelling




Crash, Stubbornness




Building, Clamor, Parliament










Bed, Nest




Pod, Bob, Harem, Herd, Rookery


Shiver, School, Shoal


Drove, Flock, Down, Hurtle, Fold, Pack, Trip






Dray, Scurry


Escargatoire, Rout, Walk


Den, Nest, Pit, Bed, Knot


Walk, Wisp




Cluster, Clutter




Dray, Scurry


Murmuration, Chattering




Pack, Trip


Mustering, Muster


Flight, Gulp

Swans (General)

Bevy, Bank, Herd

Swans (Flight)

Wedge, Flight






Colony, Nest, Swarm, Brood




Streak, Ambush


Knot, Knab, Nest




Rafter, Gang, Posse


Bale, Nest, Turn, Dole

Turtle Doves

Pitying, Dule


Generation, Nest



Vultures (Circling)



Herd, Pod


Nest, Swarm


Knob, Plump


Gang, Colony, Pack


Pod, Gam, Herd, School, Mod





Wolves (General)


Wolves (Moving)

Route, Rout








Bed, Clew, Bunch, Clat




Crossing, Zeal, Cohorts, Herd


It just goes on and on, its astounding, I feel like I must
use as many as possible in my blogs so far.


So anyway we planted the bamboo in a small
garden just outside our block of flats and then we went and had a beer and a
magnum ice cream, ah this is one of the many reasons why I love China. I can stroll
out of my flat at midnight in nothing but my shorts and flip flops and then go
to a small shop and drink beer and have an ice cream. The shop keeper was
complaining about how magnums are so expensive (4.5yuan, about 50p) he said he
once go a batch of 6 Yuan ice creams and it took him a year to sell them. Later
we went up on the roof and I taught Sarah the beginning of a short Yang style
Taiji form. Then after I had a shower to cool down and I had the bright idea of
lathering my body in peppermint oil after my shower. I liberally doused myself
and rubbed it into my already sweaty being. A minute later my whole body jolted
into a sort of minty over dose. My body (including every crevice and
protrusion) felt minty fresh then it turned into a sort of extreme freeze which
totally went to the other end of the scale and I felt so cold that I was


tried to ride it out but it was too over whelming and strange so I jumped back
into the shower and blasted my afflicted body with hot water. The water worked
only when it was directly on the body, when I moved it onto another parts the
minty demon would reemerge and attack again. It was a rather trippy experience.
Having steamy hot water on you one minute and then when it was off it was as if
a fresh curse took hold again. I sort of felt like I was two things at once,
kind of walking forward but moving backwards while jumping up and falling down
all at the same confusing moment. This little skit of trying to put out the icy
flame carried on for god knows how long and then rather exhausted I sat down on
the sofa when the peppermint had lost its potency.


So here I am again, 4 in the morning, I
only have to work in the evening tomorrow and then I have another 3 days off.
The badger’s rain is in full swing, but I don’t feel like I am wasting time.
Sometimes you need to let the Badger in you snuffle and explore without let or hindrance.
Give you inner badger a passport. Or he may just lose his stripes.

PART165(untitled part3)

“Shades are important to our cleansing
plan, the motto being “hear no evil, see no evil”, shades where a small but
vital part in our plan to completely eliminate conflict from our society. Even
with our medicine and the Zen string there was bound to be mistakes in everyday
life, what many don’t even know is that mistakes are a form of conflict. When a
conflict mistake occurs and people witness it, path ways are reopen in their
brains and the image and idea of conflict plants a small but deadly seed. If on
the other hand people do not even see conflict mistakes then it simply does not
exist in their minds. What you can’t see you can’t imagine. With our rapid advancements
in behavior science it is only a matter of time before our next generation will
not ever hear or ever need the word anymore. Hear no conflict see no conflict”.


Chairman Finch was now kneeling down by the
shores edge and as a small wave smoothly crawled up toward him he playfully
jumped up crying out in joyous alarm and ran up the beach.


changed on Larry’s set of shades and a bright red flash took him by surprise.


FREE INSTALMENTS( a colorful cartoon image sped in front of Larry, showing a
smiling jump suit worker walking gaily into a room with a doctor and lying on a
bed, shaking the smiling doctors hand, the door closed but a second later the
jump suit worker opened the door and walked out again. He looked at his watch
and gasped, then reaching into his pocket he pulled out a pill. The Doctor appeared
again and wagged his finger affectionately at the worker tapping him on the
head, the worker looked confused and took out of his other pocket the Zen
string, a tangled mass of wires and pads, the Doctor laughed and waged his
finger a second time and said “you don’t need these anymore you’ve got a Hestia
installment now, all the great benefits of the anti conflict range but without
the hassle of having to remember to take it”. The worker looked stunned “what
you mean I don’t have to take the pills or anything anymore?”  “THAT’S RIGHT” cried the Doctor leaping in the


Larry remember seeing this show just before
he had own Hestia installment




Another cartoon jumped up, the same
friendly sump suit worker walking with a spring in his step back into the
Doctors room. This time the Doctor pointed at the workers Shades. The worker
looked puzzled but the Doctor patted him on the shoulder and raised his eye brow,
then the worker grinned and took off his shaded and threw them into a rubbish
bin. At this Larry tensed a little and unknowingly gripped the plastic handles
of his seat.


The doors closed again on the cartoon
worker and a second later he opened the door and strolled out whistling,
suddenly a red cone light popped up out of the floor and the worker felt around
for his shades, he could not find them but then his eyes turned into doors
which snapped shut quickly. The worker stood there smiling and the doctor
waltzed up to him with his own eye doors and placed his hand on the workers
shoulder, they both laughed as the red cone flashed on the floor. “ NOW WITH


The show was
over and Larry took off his shades and blinked rubbing his eyes. Chairman Finch
was grinning up in the gold sector looking at the workers. “The Tiresies installment
will be launched two Saturdays from now, your superiors will inform you of the
time and place, have a good day team and keep up the good work”


Chairman Finch
gave a large slow motion wave and the thousands of workers burst out into ecstatic
applause, Larry joined in, getting to his feet along with everyone else, piercing
wolf whistles and whooping erupted and Chairman Finch motioned them to quiet
down as if they where praising him too much, he smiled and left the gold


Larry kept
looking up at the bright gold podium as the claps died down he thought about
how lucky he was just to be able to work here. He walked slowly out of the isle
with the mass of jump suits, waited for the lift and exited the factory again.
It was 9:45 so he had a short break until 10:10. He walked out into the middle
of the massive tarmac area and watched as the seemingly endless mass of people
exited and either went left to the tall office blocks or right to the other
smaller doors of the plant. Groups of people stood outside on their brake
chatting to each other. From a distance the fact that only suited people talked
to each other suits and only jump suits talked to each other was very apparent.
It looked like large splojes of colour clinging together. A small group of
smartly dressed office workers where near their office bloke smoking together
laughing at something while a group of green jump suits where near the main
entrance of the plant mostly with their hands in their pockets, not really


 Larry tried to catch Dick in the throng but didn’t
see him. He had probably used the internal lift and was near the roof now, the
green jump suits where mainly involved with the solar work or anything to do
with energy. Dick had worked hard in school so he went on to learn about solar installations
and things like that. Larry hadn’t done that well at school but threw his
Mother who knew one of the high up officials at Concord she got him a job as a
cleaner, Larry had the chance to move up the ranks but he found cleaning to be
well suited for him. He was not too interested in solar or sitting at a desk
all day. Dick had obtain tried to persuade him otherwise.


“You know all
you have to do is study the text book, its only small then you just take the
test, it’s dead easy. Then you get more money and more benefits”.


Larry would laugh
when Dick said things like this. “ I like what I am doing now why would I


When the bell
rand signaling the end of break time Larry walked toward the small maintenance door
on the right hand side of the plant. He entered the large maintenance room, It
was pitch black and Larry fumbled about near the door trying to find the light
switch. He found it and the bright Florissant lights tinkled and blinked on reveling
the large shelved room. It was cool and echoic. Metal shelves with floor
polish, industrial size packets of loo roll, soap and buckets where all neatly
stacked in efficient order. Larry walked towards his desk on the opposite side
of the room. It looked bare and gloomy. He never used it for anything apart from
putting his feet up on during lunch.

Part164, Guffawing

Wednesday, 7th, July, 2010. I didn’t
sleep last night again because of the heat. I just watched films and wrote on
the computer (am I writing or typing?). I watched the sun rise and went and
joined Sarah in bed at about 7 in the morning where I read a P.G Wodehouse
book. The heat of the day slowly and constantly reminded me of its presence to the
point that even sitting motionless on the bed reading caused me to sweat. I
slept in the afternoon as I had no classes today. Went to the gym in the
evening and did Yoga and an excellent Cycling class. We had a new instructor
who brought some very inspirational music with him and I peddled like a mad man
while cheesy dance music blared threw the nearby speakers. It’s interesting how
with the right music you can actually boost your performance. Went home again
and Sarah and I practiced Chinese and then went on the roof where I wielded my
escrema sticks around.


yet again it is too hot to sleep and I am typing away. My only relief being the
misty grotto of contemplation but the down side of that is that there is only
so much time you can sit in a shower for, roughly 45 minutes seems to be my
breaking point when boredom and mist madness overrides the threat of the
boiling flat. I have now also found that peppermint oil( which my Mum lovingly
sent to me from England) can ease the itching and tingling of the heat rash and
more effectively tiger balm( lovingly brought by my wife) does the trick as
well. When I finish writing my blog I am going to attempt writing another part
of my latest untitled story .


I read in my “ how to be a writer book”
book that “anyone who attempts to write a story without knowing how it’s going
to end is a fool and an imbecile”. This I believe has been my downfall so far
in my past stories I have attempted (but then a few chapters later another
writer was saying how he never knows how his stories are going to end, the
thing all of the authors of this book say is “there is no set way to write a
book”, well thanks a million guys!, its like going for a driving lesson and
your teacher saying “ well there is no real set way to drive a car…”).


I sometimes have a good ideas( or what I think
are good ideas) but not unlike a sprinter, they tend not to have much endurance.
So rest assured I have heeded the good advice and I know how my untitled story
shall end….. I just don’t know what the hell’s going to go on in the middle
yet. While I was reading this morning I came across a brilliant line in “carry
on jeeves” it went like this


“As a rule the bright ideas you get over
night have a trick of not seeming quite so frightfully fruity when you examine
them by the light of day”


At first I chuckled at this, careful not to
wake Sarah, then I laughed and then sitting in bed on the bamboo mat sweating
and I suddenly guffawed( it took me 4 tries and then the spell check to work
out how to spell guffaw, 1st gafoored, 2nd gafored, 3rd
gufored, 4th, gufoured).


“A hearty, boisterous burst of laughter.” Is
the,s description of guffawing.


My description is “ when the brain is
utterly consumed in humor, pushing out everything else cluttering up the mind
and sending humorous uncontrollable convulsions down the body until ones whole
being is laughing”


Although a little over the top I think my
description is much better. Or maybe my one describes hysteria more aptly? Either
way it was bloody funny and I laughed myself into a right good super sweat.

PART163,the misty glen of contemplation

Tuesday, 6th, July, 2010. Last
night I slept very little. My heat rash was keeping me awake and I passed the
night scratching like a mangoy dog ( I deliberately kept in that spelling error
because I think the image of a Mangoy dog is far more interesting than a mangy
dog). Today has been a rather up and down roller costar. I spent the best half
of the morning and early afternoon thinking about how much I hated Catherine
and how I just wanted to get the hell out of here, I thought how I was going to
get paid in a few days and I could just take a plane to Yang shuo and be there
this time next week. I thought how Catherine has forced me to stay and when she
didn’t accept my resignation she unwittingly accepted my leaving without
telling her. I was also stressed because I had a new class at a medical company
this afternoon and I think even the most veteran of teachers must get a little
stressed when they have a new class.


Catherine picked me up from my home and
drove me to the new job. My plan was to not mention anything to her and nod
along and then hot foot it at the end of the week. She did a very good job of
being nice to me, saying how she thinks I am a good teacher, how my students all
like me and that she will give me a raise at the end of august. She told me her
woes of Shuang dao school not paying her yet even after 3 months of working
there. Then I went and had a really fun class with a bunch of sweet people from
the medical company. Then when I left they smiled and said “ See you next week
Mr. Tim”. My heart twanged and I thought about what they would be going next
week if I executed my plan to run away. They would all be round the big conference
table waiting, wondering where I am. I had even written my name in permanent
marker on the white board( no one told me it was a permanent marker until I had
finished writing my name) My name would forever be on the top right hand
corner, he who didn’t turn up next week.


got a bus to new window school to teach my next class while my conscience twanged
and ptwanged away. I had another great class with my senior students and then I
walked to the bus stop with Patients and her boy friend. patient is one of the Chinese
teachers at school. Her boy friend said “on spring festival we should meet up
and drink together”. I smiled and nodded knowing full well that I would not be


said goodbye at the bus stop and when waiting for the bus came face to face
with a rather androgynous fellow (who aired more on the side of a madam). He
looked slippery and gave me a smile which sent a disturbed shiver up my back “Hello”
he letched at me. “Oh hello” I stuttered back. I had the gut feeling like when
maybe you’re fumbling around in the dark and you touch something cold and
sticky and your heart gives an awful lurch as you try and comprehend what you
have just come in contact with.


 I about
quick marched and hid behind a palm tree on the left hand side of the bus stop
and thankfully when bus 28 came to rescue me the fiend didn’t take it.



I arrived back at home and immediately sat
down in the shower and turned the knob to the mist option. I sat there and
downed a small can of red crown beer. From now on I will call the shower when
it is on the misty option “ the misty glen of contemplation”. For that is surly
what it is. I sat in the Misty glen of contemplation and relaxed my brain as
the mist gently landed on me. After a time of thinking Sarah open the door of
the misty glen of contemplation and asked.


“ So Tim what are we going to do?”


I sighed and felt a bit sorry for her being
with a silly person who changes his ideas and plans even in the space of an
afternoon as a husband. I told her that I didn’t know what we were doing and I
asked her to join me in the misty glen of contemplation so that me might join
minds together and form a better thought. Begrudgingly (for Sarah does not care
for the misty glen of contemplation with quite the same vigor as I do) she
joined me and irritably and constantly wiped away the mists which gathered on
her eye lids and lips. I rather enjoy the mist slowly gathering on my person,
tis intriguing how one man’s misty delight can be another Sarah’s irritation.


Before I left for work this afternoon I
told Sarah with surety that I had had quite enough of Catherine and my job and
that I wanted to leave at the end of the week. Now I explained that Catherine
had been very nice to me and how she had been having trouble getting money from
the schools we have been working at.


“And you actually believed her?”, Sarah
shot back at me. It brought up the point in me that it was a rather effective
ploy to keep my working and that if I tried again to say I wanted to leave
again she would most certainly have taken away the proverbial carrot and replaced
it with a far more literal taking away of my money.


I sighed again and closed my eyes on the subject.
When no good answer is apparent stay in the mist glen of contemplation and get
drunk. I went to the fridge and got a big bottle of red crown anchor beer and
hastily returned to the MGOC and drank away in the blissful cool while Sarah
kept me good company. Maybe grotto or cavern would be better than glen?

PART162 untitled (part2)

Untitled ( part 2).


Larry looked at the seat where Carol should
have been sitting………


Yes!, that was it, it had been bothering
his ever since he had got on the Capsule. The big posters advert for Concord
Neuron Inc. First the pill, then the man with all the wires and stuff then the
monk cradling a baby as the last section of the evolutionary scale. Larry
sighed with satisfaction; he had always had a pretty good memory. Larry always imagined
he was a sort of monk. Quietly going about his job with a Zen like air. He
would bend to his work and try and get the mop to smoothly glide across the
floor in a perfect arch, gently lift it off the tiles and rinse it in the
bucket beside him, using his body as a whole to do all his tasks.


He chuckled softly to himself and looked
around him at all the suited people. Even though they were earning more money
than him he knew he was much luckier than them. He was luck because he worked
at Concord. Concord was the soul distributor of Reflakenol and the Zen string.
But now they had created a whole new way to market the anti conflict drugs. It didn’t
involve a pill, which had some side effects, or the Zen string, which was slow
and boring. It was a whole new way to keep your life free of conflict permanently,
it wasn’t even on the market yet but even so Larry already had it.


“ gosh they really take care of everyone at
Concord” he thought to himself. Also today the morning work schedule had been cancelled
as there was a staff conference for all the workers at the plant and Larry was
very happy about this.


When the capsule stopped and opened up like
a toothless mouth Larry got up and out of his seat and got off at Concord Street.
He cheerfully greeted other members of staff as they all walked up the sloped corridor
for about 5 minutes. They emerged out into the sun light and into the vast tarmac
ked area in front of the Plant. The plant was vast, it was entirely run on
solar energy and the roofs where all installed with panels, because the panels
became so bright they then installed giant shied perimeters around the roof so
the glare and heat would not blind and scorch people around the plant, there
had been some unfortunate incidence involving burn birds before the shields had
been installed. Therefore the 45 floor office blocks where extra high and the
factor which was not as tall but far longer looked like it had another building
on top of it. The plant even had its own cinema, flats, restaurants and
community for the employees who lived there. The only reason Larry didn’t live
there was his mother had died and left him the flat he was in now and if he left
the flat then it would be forfeit and given to someone else as part of the new government
scheme on housing.


Larry walked over the tarmac area with the
other 12 or so jump suit workers, they headed for the factory area, which also
housed the massive conference stadium. It was a good 5 minute walk to the
factory and Larry looked into the group of jump suits and found his old friend


“Oh Dick” Larry shouted


“Alright Larry?”, replied Dick as he caught
Larry’s eye. Dick was one of Larry’s oldest friends, they had been at school
together, Dick was always the popular sporty one at school, and While Larry was
this gangril streak who was still getting used to his new tall body at that age.
None the less Dick always stayed friends with Larry even though he was very


“So how’s your installment treating you my
friend?” Larry asked


“Oh man, you have asked me that question
every day since we got it, do you think anything will change?” Dick chortled


“no it just that, I am so relieved that I don’t
have to take those pills anymore, I was always worried that I would forget them
but now I don’t have to do anything, no pills or Zen string”


“ Yes, I remember you almost got a red
light that Friday on the check up, if I hadn’t reminded you…of God it doesn’t
bare thinking about” Dick said suddenly looking serious.


“Yes I know I owe you so much for that, I don’t
think it would have been so bad really though”


Dick smiled a little but his eyes flickered
away from Larry’s quickly.


When the small group of jump suits arrived
at the main factory door they entered and followed the complicated directions
to the conference stadium. “Without these directions it would be so hard to
find your way anywhere in here” Larry said to no one in particular as they all
rounded a slopped incline going to the left. Larry thought how he didn’t even
know how to get to the lavatory without the signs and he had been working there
for 10 years or so.


They all arrived at the double doors
leading to the conference stadium; They pushed them open and looked around at
the thousands of employees all getting to their seats. There was the blue
sector up top, green in the centre and yellow in the pit area. The small gold
and platinum sections there at the front of the stadium and Larry could see
Chairman Finch in the distance sitting in his seat talking to some other people
in the Platinum sector.


Dick was in the Green sector so he waved
goodbye to Larry and took the moving floor to the other side of the stadium
where his seat was. Larry walked to the elevator and got on with a crowd of Yellow
jump suits “Floor 7 please” Larry said to the nearest man to the buttons. “Right
Oh” he acknowledged. Larry got off on floor 7 and made his way around the cycle
shape and then down an isle to his own seat.


10 minutes later everyone was sitting down
and Chairman Finch stood up and addressed the crowd of workers threw a microphone.


“Good morning crew, Thank you all for
coming this morning, we have a short program to show you today so if you will
all just put on your shades and plug them in on to screen 1 we can all begin”.
Larry put on his Calfin Visors extra fast and grinned as he heard everyone else
around him fumbling away still putting theirs on. Larry pressed the small
button on the right side of his shades and his visor blinked on and showed “channel


A beautiful white beach with crystal clear
water appear in front of Larry and from the right hand side in casual holiday
shirt and shorts strolled Chairman Finch.


“Ah hello, welcome. Today I want to talk to
you all about our ever improving methods of distributing and refining Anti
conflict medicine. I like to think of all my team as one big family and family
takes care of one another don’t they?”.


Larry had never seen Chairman Finch up
close before; he liked how he had white hair but still looked energetic and handsome.
A strong jaw and fine white teeth. Sparkling blue eyes and a manly chest of
hair to be seem from his unbuttoned Hawaiian shirt. Dashing, that was the word
to describe him Larry thought to himself.


“ Now as you know we have shared our lasted
new range of anti conflict material with you all for no price at all even
before it has been put on the shelves, but now we are doing it again!, this
time I want to talk to you about shades”

Part161, a case a mistaken identity

Monday, 5th. I stayed up until
dawn last night writing and reading. I looked out of the window and saw that
the dark night had been replaced with a pale blue sky. I took a shower and went
up on the roof. The air was almost cold and I shivered slightly. I practiced my
Silat on the roof top, taking off my flip flops so that I could feel the
texture of the roof. After a short time I went back down to the flat and had
another shower and went to sleep. I woke up again at about 1, o’clock. I was
expecting Sarah to be applying for her New Zealand visa online (there is a
limited time at 2 o’clock when she is able to apply). She came into the room to
wake me up.


“did you get the visa?” I asked her


“no I got the time difference wrong so I
missed the time” She laughed in a daze.


It’s alright because she will get another
chance next month; it was so unlike Sarah to make a mistake like that. It
reminded me that she is also human and makes mistakes. I spent the day reading
and sweating on the sofa. I went to the gym and had a furious work out
involving cycling, running and lots of weight lifting.


When we were just leaving the Gym a girl
was entering the gym and she smiled attractively at me and said hell to me. I recognized
her from the other gym and I went up to her and said “ Hello Sarah( I remembered
that was her name), I didn’t know you came to this gym?”, She looked a bit
shocked and nodded. (The Chinese nod one sees when they don’t understand what you’re
saying but are too polite to say so)


“You come to this gym now?; I have never
seen you here before”. She opened her mouth


“ I, I….” and then she sighed and ran away
from me. She actual ran away from me. I thought this was a bit strange because
I remembered that the Sarah at the other gym had very good English and we got
on very well( until I told her I was married), I wondered because Sarah(my wife
Sarah) was standing next to me that maybe she was embarrassed for some reason
and she just left. Then I suddenly realized that it was not actually Sarah, it
was our Yoga teacher who could not speak a word of English and I had never
spoken to her before. I must have appeared to be a real goon. Walking up to her
like I knew her well and speaking to her in English. Ahh I felt a little surge
of embarrassment and I chuckled to myself as I turned a little more rouge than


We went for a meal at a small duck fast
food restaurant. An ugly shrine with the God of war Zhang Fie with his long
black beard, fine armor and a guan dao ( a stick with a curved sword on the
end), His helmet had two red ribbons curling out from it like fiery pig tails. He
had a dirty pile of ashes from the incense sticks below him and there were four
apples forming a semi circle around him. A garish red light eluminated the
small hole in the wall and made it look like a brothel rather than a shrine.


When we where waiting for the bus and Sarah
and I where comparing our heat rash ( Sarah’s legs are worse than mine but my
chest is worse than hers) a short wired man with large glasses looked at Sarah
and stopped in his tracks and then suddenly approached the bus stop and stared
at her. He then jerked his head toward me and started speaking like a lunatic


“ good aft…good afternoon( it was 9 in the
evening) good afternoon, Where are you from?, where are you from?”. He said
while he eye balled me threw his owl like glasses. I had no desire to talk to
the chap so I just said while giving him an equally crazed stare.


“I don’t want to talk to you, I am tired”


“Where are you from?”, He said ignoring
what I said


“ I am tired, I do not want to talk to you”


He looked hurt and confused and walked off,
came back, gave me another look and then sat down on the opposite bench looking
very serious and puzzled. I felt a bit bad for him. He was probably one of the unfortunate
who was not graced with the social touch and was going through life wonder why
so many people tell him they are tired and don’t want to talk.


But then again when did this become my
problem? Some fruit cake stops in the middle of the road, marches over to us
and stars at my wife like she is an alien and then started trying to practice
his shit English with me. Well I am sorry but I left my Christian charity at
home today.