Part 132 zombie trees

Monday, June 07, 2010. I woke up today and
like a thoughtless dick head I went back to sleep straight away. I woke up with
a jerk and looked at the clock, it was 8:00. Shit! I had to be at Mei Shi
School at 8:30. I am usually in the taxi by 8, I forwent my usual morning
shower (god save the children), I got dressed and slammed the door on my way
out, I flew down the stairs. I got a taxi from the nearest door out on the
street and he began to take me a different route but it was ok I knew the road
and I thought it may well be quicker, it’s the way taxis often take me back
from the school. It was a jam packed solid chockablock traffic jam. We spent
about 20 minutes waiting in the jam, I was in a bit of a fluster. I called
Catherine and told her I was going to be late. I knew that Mai Shi is a very strict
school and if I was late they would call Catherine. Better me calling her than
an angry teacher.


The bloody taxi driver started asking my
how much I earned every month, a question as common as the sun rise when it
comes to taxi drivers in China. I was in no mood so I just told him I didn’t understand,
he kept pressing me but I just looked out of the window silently screaming
inside “next time you should just say, I am not telling you” Sarah said when I
told her later. Bloody brilliant, simple idea I cannot wait to be asked again
by my next taxi driver “ No I am not going to tell you”.


Back to the taxi, Finally We broke free of
the jam and sped towards school, I was officially late so I relaxed and
resigned myself to the truth. But then the driver called someone up on his
phone and was asking “where is Mai Shi School”. I sunk in my seat and doubly so
in my heart. The driver got us lost and when by some miracle he got me vaguely
near the schoo and where I actually recognized, he began to drive the wrong

“No it the other way turn around here” I
said tersely


“no, no it’s this way I am going to go
around” he said angrily”,


He ignored me for a moment but then I said


“I have been here before, turn around I
want to go the other way”.


He grumbled and did so. Then when he
stopped and I handed his a 100 Yuan note he said.


“I have not small money”. WHAT THE FUCK!, I


can go and get some from that shop over there” he said casually.


properly flipped.


“I HAVE NO TIME, YOU GO!” I shouted in his
right ear. This knock the dick headed relaxed island life style out of his
thick skull and he ran out of the car and got a drink and some change, he profusely
apologiesed when he got back in the car. By Englishness forced me to say “it’s
alright” but in my heart I wanted to destroy him.


After my class I went back home and had
lunch, wrote a bit of another story and then back to the Kindergarten. One
class which is especially bad was actually not affecting me at all today. The
noise of the screaming children didn’t faze me and I focused on the few
children who were actually concentrating. Two attractive young teachers mean
while had not tapped into the pool of calm I had stumbled upon and where maliciously
beating the children which only seemed to exacerbate the atmosphere of crazy bedlam.


left the class with another 6 year old who was flung out of the door after
catching a sound thrashing for not saying good bye to me. He sat on the floor
behind me with the rage full teacher standing over him “you didn’t say good bye
to the foregne teacher, you are a bad child you have to stay out here”, he
sobbed and sat with a bowed head sniveling. The attractive teacher gave me a
smile as if she had just smelt the most beautiful rose rather than beating a 6
year old and went back into the class room. I went to the child and knelt
beside him and rubbed his shoulder as he cried. He didn’t stop and after a
while I left him to his tears.


I had another vivid dream last night. I was
back in the UK but it was a zombie wasteland. I was creeping around houses
looking for weapons and thankfully I found a machine gun and two pistols, then
I also found my Mum. We got in a massive truck which I drove; I was very
worried about Mum being eaten by the zombies. I pulled up on a muddy ridge and
looked down into a black smoking valley. Large spindly spider like cranes with
slithering glistening tubes coming out of them where hosing a field of
withering green plants.


The writhing shiny black tubes like licked liquorish
where going up and down the vast valley like an alien octopus, touching the
weak green plants, brushing over them. “that’s such a cool idea for a book” I
thought to myself in the dream.


Then a walking zombie tree trudged up
behind our truck and I started the engine again and we hurtled down a scary
steep hill. The engine cut out and I began frantically trying to start the
truck again with the rotting tree man quickly looming larger and larger in the
rear view mirror. It was on top of us and just when I was about to forcefully wake
myself up because it was all becoming a bit too chilling for my liking,  the tree gave the truck a push and we where
off again.


“Oh thank you” I shouted as we drove away
from the tree man zombie thing. “What a kind zombie tree”


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