part124, spider monkeys


Monday, May 31, 2010.


I arrived at work
half an hour early today, I had just arrived at Mei Shi School and I looked at
my phone. 7:58.

“Shit I have half an hour before my class,
why on earth did I come so early?”.

 

 “Because
you’re a duffus that’s why” was my only reply.

 

I sat on the sofa and watched the flag
raising ceremony out of the corner of my eye. Knowing that I had to teach in 20
minutes and also knowing that I had 20 minutes to wait sent me off into a tantalizing
uneasy nap. Waking up suddenly and then chastising myself because I had wasted precious
minute of rest

 

I got a taxi back home with an obnoxious driver.
He had vitiligo, the ailment where your skin begins to slowly turn very white.
He had white hands and white patches on his face but most of his person was
dark tanned. An unmistakable Hainan person. The first question he asked me predictably
was

 

“how much money do you make every month”.

 

My usually reply “every months is not the
same, this month I didn’t work much and last month I worked a lot…its always different”.
If this does not work I usually just pretend I do not understand their Chinese.

 

I saw a man mindlessly pull out in front of
us with his head turned the other way while he was on his Mobil. My taxi driver
slammed on his breaks and swerved and nearly missed both the other cars and a
young man on the side of the road. I glared at the other driver as we went past
and we met eyes and he broke my gaze with a shamed expression.

 

“You fucking mindless idiot, look where you’re
going, try and engage in your life it has consequences” I mind shouted at him.

 

 I
had road rage and I was not even driving. I have never really seen any proper
road rage here. Although there is many a causes for it I think that bad driving
is so common place and normal that people just don’t get annoyed at it too much
here.

 

Later I went to the gym and during the weights
class there was a whaling banshee in our midst. Just when the class was getting
tough this individual would shout at the top of her lungs “WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!”.
“ EIIIIIIIIIIIIIOOOOOOOO!!!” and whooped on many an occasion inbetween the hard
parts. It was hilarious, the instructor was having a hard time keeping a
straight face and myself and the woman next to me where in fits of laughter
throughout most of the lesson. I cannot wait to go back to this class on Wednesday.
I hope the screaming student comes back. I never actually got to see who it
was. There are lots of people in the class and whenever I tried to find the culprit
in the crowd the screeching had already stopped.

 

I stopped off at the malls street stalls on
the way home but my favorite shop was shut so I went to another one Lindsey and
Kyle recommended. It was full of young menacing youths so I walked past, still
hungry. I stopped outside the mall and watched the giant TV screen playing the
new iron man film advert. I waited for someone to bring me some food but of
course it didn’t happen.

 

Suddenly I grew disgusted with myself “
grow a sack Tim, go and get some food from that stall, so what there is a troop
of spider monkeys outside, get over it you pussy!”. I marched back to the
stall, Past the spider monkeys who all shouted hello and “how are you?” without
even waiting for a reply before they looked at their friends for approval and
laughs for saying something to a foreigner. I think “hello” is the biggest joke
in China. Every one laughs after they say it. It has transformed into something
else. It’s not a greeting anymore in China it’s a “hay friends look at me I am
shouting at the strange monkey man” sort of thing.

 

 Anyhow I got a luscious Chinese spicy burger
from the stall and walked off triumphant, sweating from the chilly.

I went back home and wrote a new part of my
new blog story. Although I was not really pleased with the story I was pleased
that I wrote about 2000 words today, not including this lengthy blog right not.
Practice makes perfect and one day I am bloody well going to write a blinding
master peace which will blow my socks off.

 

part123, destroying the sun


Different blog.

 

I walked back home along the lines of palm
trees by the park. I could still see the faint glow of light surrounding most
of the tree, But not so much around the palm trees. I remembered Anthony’s
words about how Palm tree where not good healing trees. I saw an old man in the
distance in the park. He was practicing Taiji next to a small tree. I noticed
that there was darkness around his shoulders and it was slowly moving towards
the tree. I was intrigued.

 

 Over
the course of about 20 minutes while the old man slowly moved, twisted and bent
gracefully threw his Taiji form I saw that the darkness on his shoulder had lessened
and then I saw the tail end of the darkness moving towards the branches of the tree
and then disappear. Maybe trees take away your negative energy, I thought to myself.
The old man finished his form and after stretching for a few minutes walked off
down one of the winding paths in the park.

 

So many questions where racing threw my brain
“where can I go to when I travel?”, “who was Anthony?”, “Can anyone else do all
this?”, “and how come I can suddenly see strange glowing lights around trees
and coming out from the bottom of my feet?” I calmed myself and thought that I
should take things one step at a time, I didn’t want to annoy Anthony again and
I also wanted to be a good learner with him.

 

When I got back home I ate supper and contemplated
telling Sarah about what had happened but I felt that I should not tell her
just yet. Maybe I was actually stark raving mad, I didn’t want to end up in a
loony bin so I would say silent for at least while.

 

Waiting for midnight was excruciating. It
was like I was a child again on Christmas Eve.

 

“ What will we do tonight?” I eagerly
thought to myself.

 

Then suddenly a depressing thought crossed
my mind

 

“how do I actually open the door again?,
what if I cannot do it?, what if Anthony’s waiting for me and I don’t come?”. I
started to panic.

 

 It
was 11:30 now and I had to start rooting until 12:00. I crossed my legs and put
a pillow under my bum. Sitting next to the sleeping form of Sarah in the moon
light I began to remember all I had been taught. I breathed in the light, But
this time the light was silver instead of gold. I saw shiny streams of light
passing through the cracks in the windows and threw the bedroom door and
towards me.

 

Every time I breathed in they moved closer
towards me. Soon the where right in front of my face and I took an extra deep
breath and two steams converged and slid down my nose. Shortly after I felt the
same sort of heavy feeling inside my stomach and I looked over at Sarah lying
beside me and saw that some of the light was around her slowly enveloping her
as she slept. Like a cosmic blanket.

 

It was beautiful, veins of silver moon
light drawing towards me like a magnet. When I was full again I moved the light
down my legs and out from the bottom of my feet and onto the bed. It was like mercury
sleeking out of me. I anchored the light around the bed like tree roots. Thin
wispy veins shot out and twinned around the whole bed, passing around Sarah and
going under the bed. Gripping the bed frame in an embrace of light.

 

 I
left a little patch for the door that I was hopefully going to open. I crouched
on the bed and imagined the door opening in the same place as last night, right
where I usually sleep. I watched the space below me as I crouched on our bed
like an inquisitive bear waiting for a salmon to jump in to my mouth..

 

 Nothing happened, I began to panic but then I
heard a voice behind me which made me jump

 

“Jesus it’s a full moon tonight! Put some
cloths on Tim”.

 

 Directly
behind me and facing my bare buttocks was a round hole in the mosquito net,
threw the whole I saw the tree in the park and Anthony looking shocked.

 

 “Tim
what are you doing?, why are you naked?, come on get some cloths on and hurry
up.”. Embarrassment forced me to forget my surprise and I dashed under the
mosquito net and quickly donned a pair of shorts and a t shirt before slipping
back under the net and threw the door to the park.

 

“I thought the door was going to open under
me” I blurted out in a sort of excuse apology.

 

“ you can never really tell at what angle
they will open” Said Anthony “ I suppose I should have told you that, But I didn’t
expect to have to tell you to put cloths on, let’s never talk about this again
be ready next time”.

 

“ok I am sorry” I said with a bowed head.

 

“your root is looking good, I am sure it
will hold well and guide you home safly” Anthony was smiling as he looked at
the two bright strings of light coming from under my feet, leading back into my
bed. I was very proud of myself and reveled in the glory of the complement.

 

I surveyed the moon lit park. It looked and
felt normal. “Are we actually in the same park as today?”, I asked Anthony.

 

 “As
near to it as can be to the same thing, the only two differences I have found
are that there are almost no people on this world and the other thing I have
noticed is that you can do whatever you can imagine here…like flying”,

 

“Oh yes!!” I said enthusiastically.

 

“remember, all of what you will learn and
find out is 99 percent instinct, trust your gut feeling, If you know you can do
something then just do it, if you know you cannot do it then still give it a
go, but if you feel like you should NOT do something..then just get the hell
out of there fast” Anthony said

 

I was about to tell him that was a bit
vague and could he elaborate when I realized I was talking when I could be
flying.

 

“Go on knock yourself out” Anthony laughed,
I think he could see I was itching to do something

 

“I only came here to check that your root
line was secure, I have to go now and I will not be back for a while, Stay safe
and remember to always root before you travel and always trust your gut. I am
sure you will figure the rest out. See you later”

 

 Before I could even think about replying he
jumped 20 feet in the air and I saw his rooting line snap taught and it bolted
him off into the distance at a blinding speed.

 

I looked back at the door to the real
world. It was more like a circle hole. It simply looked like someone had cut a hole
with a pair of scissors. I looked back and saw Sarah sleeping. I closed the
hole to a small dot so that I could just see my silver root coming out of it.

 

Then I took off. The wind in my hair. I shrieked
in fear and excitement as I expertly flew head first at a 45 degrees angle up
into the night’s sky. I pushed my legs back and gave myself a burst of speed.
The wind whistled past my ears almost deafening me. I sawed high up past the
clouds and banked right and began a hair razing decent, Bursting back down through
the clouds I saw the planet coming towards me very fast. I pulled up again way
before I reached the earth. For a few moments I flew straight and true. The
wind had died down and a feeling of wonderful excitement welled up in my chest.

 

 “I
am going to go to the centre of the sun!” I suddenly screamed at the top of my
voice. I raced around the dark moons half of the world until I saw the sun in
the distance. I was flying into the sunset. I saw it high in the sky. A ball of
fire which I was going to pierce. I tucked my arms to my torso and stiffened my
body and started to accelerate, faster and faster up away from the earth
passing planets and darkness and I went faster than the speed of light.

 

 I
was a slither of energy skimming the vacuum, so fast and light I could feel
nothing or hear nothing. I was just moving “Move it to ludicrous speed!”, I
shouted to my self and then  I laughed at
myself . I saw the sun getting bigger and bigger and a fire grew and burst my
heart, I ignited my soul, I was a molten slither of energy.

 

BOOM! I smashed into the sun puncturing its
crust and I forced myself deep into the searing white heat. I reached the core
of the sun and stopped, I began to drink the sun. I opened my mouth and gasped
in mouthfuls of the fire. I opened my hands spaying my fingers to their fullest
extent arching my back and kicking with my legs.

 

Fire consuming fire, I lost myself, who I
was where I was, everything. I lost everything. For an eternity I was no more, Transforming
in the womb of a giant, where time and space have no meaning.

 

I began to cry tears of joy from my burning
eye, Steam rose from my cheeks and dark crusts of rock began to form around me.
My tears ran faster and soon the heat of the sun was not enough to keep it to
steam. My eyes dwarfed the sun and I looked down upon it and wept. A cascade of
tears extinguished the light.

 

I looked down on the dead sun, a marble
sized gray sphere. I grabbed at it and with the lightest touch it crumbled in
my palm. I watched as the dust hung there in the vacuum of space gray matter
drifting, Where a moment before it was a ball of molten fire.

 

Suddenly I felt spent and I wanted to go
back home.

 

I saw which way my rooting line was going.
Two silver lines sparkling and leading off into the distance. I was about to
start flying back when It suddenly jerks tight and began to pull my back to
earth. Within 2 seconds I was back under the tree.

 

Silently I reopened the door and clambered
back into our world my bed and finaly to sleep.

 

 

 

part122


Sunday, 30th, May, 2010. I woke
up at 4 in the afternoon today hot as a freshly baked pie, I shuffled to the
shower and had a cold shower and then saw to my head ache by drinking lots of
water. I then sat in front of the computer for the remainder of the day. Went
to have some rice noodles with Sarah. Sarah found a maggot in her soup….shant
be going back there again. Went to another restaurant and had a maggot free
meal and then went back home.

 

Work again tomorrow. I am feeling hopeful
because in a few weeks the schools will be doing there end of term exams and I
just know that many a lesson will be canceled. Not an exam subject, English
speaking is one of the first classes to be cut from the schedule in favor of
revision classes. I cannot wait.

Part121, metting Anthony


differant blog,


I woke up in the morning feeling odd. I remembered
the dream which happened last night, how real it felt. I could still feel the
heat of my burning sword on my face. I could still feel deep down a fear of
that dark monster. Was it a dream?

 

I got up and went through all the motions
of the day. Shower, got dressed, went to work but all the while I could not
shack my dream from my mind. It was not only my mind. I felt as if I was
dripping in a kind of burning atmosphere from the dream. Like I was still
there.

 

On the way back from work I stood on the
crowded bus, lost in the miasma of my dark thoughts. I noticed out the corner
of my eye a foreigner sitting on the bus. Although he was sitting down I could
tell he was tall. He looked somewhat out of place on the bus seat, like he didn’t
fit on it because of his size. But it was not only that, he didn’t seem to fit
in another way. Maybe because he was the only other foreigner sitting on a bus
full of Chinese people.

 

He had wavy blond hair and a handsome face,
broad shoulders and a faint flow around his person. I couldn’t really tell how
old he was, He looked old but not wrinkly or disheveled. A luminescent bronzed
tan gave this large man the look of a radiant angel. I shimmied over to where
he was sitting and said hello, I usually say hello to fellow foreigners in
China as one does not see many very often. He gave me a warm smile and said in
a clear voice “you’ve been traveling, I would advise you to be careful”. I
laughed and said “yes”, not knowing exactly what he meant. There was silence, I
had to fill it, I felt uncomfortable and although no challenge had been made I
felt I needed to explain myself. “Yes I know I have been traveling around
China, I was in the north for a few months and then I went to Malaysia….”. I
heard myself spewing the same old regurgitated stories of my travels. The angel
sat there listening.

 

After I had finished He told me “ you
should go to the park and relax”. “Ok” I said in obediently. We both got off at
the green park. We went down past the arcade games and street sellers and
walked past the exercise machines and went off down a small path lined by palm
trees. “ Palm trees are not very good at healing, They are different from other
trees”, Said the man. We found a large tree with dark green leafs and the man
gestured me to sit under it. Keeping a distance from me he watched as I slumped
against the tree. He just watched

 

I don’t know how much time past but slowly
I started to wake up, I mean really wake up. I gasped and freshened my brain
for the first time in ages, the strange atmosphere I had been feeling all day
had disappeared. I realized that there was a man standing in front of me. “Ok
now that you are all cleaned up we can really have a chat”. I began to get up
and was about to make a hasty exit from this strange situation when he said “It
was real last night all of it”.

 

I froze and my brain spasmd at these words.
“What?” is all that I could muster as I was in mid sand up “ Last night somehow
you managed to open a door which cannot be closed, you have become a traveler.”.
I failed to stand up and resigned to sitting back down. “You have learned how
to travel into your dreams’. I looked up into the tall man’s face and for some reason
I felt that I could trust him. Like he was my Angel “ You went to fear and
darkness last night and luckily you escaped”, I gave him a puzzled look as to
enquire more. “Last night you travels to a realm of fear and darkness and
because your strong you managed to survive and because your incredibly lucky
you managed to find your way back into this world.”

 

“How is that even possible? Do you mean it
was not a dream or was it just like a very real dream?” I asked. “It was very real;
your whole being was there. That is why it’s so dangerous. In a normal dream
only your mind or rather only your sight goes to these places. Like watching a
film. But last night it’s as if you crawled into the film and where part of it,
It was much more real than most of the things you do in this world”. I contemplated
all this for a moment. “You need to understand that from now on that all your actions
have consequences, you should practice going to safe happy places when you
travel”. Said the man. “How do I do that?” I asked.  “Firstly when you go to bed you must anchor yourself
in this world and then you can open the door to where ever you want to go, like
you did last night, open the door in your mind and whatever your thinking about
or feeling will be your destination, your reality”.

 

I remembered back to last night and how I
had felt crawling back into bed. I was scared and worried from imagining someone
outside our flat. It seemed unusual but at the same time it made sense, I had
been scared when I got back into bed and that’s where I went.

 

“ What do you mean by anchoring myself to
this world?”. I said.

 

“When you travel you must always root yourself
in this world, if you don’t you can become lost and sometimes it can be hard or
even impossible to come back. I will teach you a simple but effective way to
root yourself, oh and by the way my name is Anthony”.

 

Anthony sat opposite me under the tree and
motioned me to copy his cross legged stance

 

 

“There is no special way to sit but as long
as your back is straight and upright that’s all you need. You cannot root or
even think properly for that matter when you are lying down.” Said Anthony.

 

“Next I want you to breath in and imagine
your breathing bright golden energy down into your stomach, Every time you
breath in, the energy is stored in your belly and every time you breath out you
are expelling unless waste from your body”.

 

 

 We
both sat silently and after a few minutes I felt a strange heavy feeling in the
pit of my stomach. Like I was full of slow moving honey, I saw around me the
trees glowing golden and faint flowing rivers of energy coming from all the
trees. I craned my neck up and saw that a line of golden energy was coming from
the branches above and was snaking down towards Anthony and myself, it turned
into a smaller stream and I could see every time Anthony took a breath the
golden light was moving into his nostrils.

 

It was blissful. I felt like I was drenched
if think warm light. I marveled at the new sights and sensations around me.

 

After a time Anthony spoke again “Now that
you are charged we can work on rooting, imagine that all the energy that is now
stored inside you can be manipulated. You can use your mind to control it in
many ways, for rooting I want you to move the energy with your mind down both
of your legs and let it out onto the ground out from the bottom of your feet”.

 

 

 I imagined
the thick honey traveling from my stomach threw my legs, It was an uneasy
sensation at first. Almost like I was urinating, Something fluid was rushing
down my legs and out from my feet.

 

“Very good”. Said Anthony “now that your
energy is flowing out from you you must use your mind and imagination to grip
the very earth with your energy, imagine it is sticky elastic goo and it clings
to the earth”. I did this and imagined the honey oozing from my feet and
gripping the earth. I felt the energy cling and dig in like an anchor.

 

“Right!, time to get up and go!”, Said
Anthony suddenly.

 

 I
got up and started walking. As we both walked away from the tree I say a faint
glow from where I was sitting and two threads of light coming from it leading
to the bottom of each of my feet.

“That’s what rooting is”

 

 Anthony said with a smile on his face as he saw
me gazing in awe and wonder. “Now all you have to do when you want to come back
here is follow the light strings and you will come back, When you travel to
other worlds you just do the same thing, follow the light back home”.

 

“Yeah just follow the string of energy
coming out from both my feet, simple!”, I thought to myself with a chuckle.

 

Suddenly Anthony looked very serious and
stood face on to me “Most of this is very instinctive but There is much more to
learn, if you like I can become your teacher. I can help guide you, you need
help if you are to survive”.

 

I chuckled again. Anthony was not impressed
“Do you know what would have happened if you had not killed that creature last
night? You would have stayed in the shadows of that half world and you would
have become your own fears and darkness forever. You would be trapped there
ever lasting, this is not a joke, and you need to take this seriously”.

 

 

I realized that I had been rude and apologized
“ I am sorry Anthony, It’s just all so bizarre, energy ropes coming from my
feet, other worlds, Yes I would love you to be my teacher I would feel so honored,
I will listen to what you have to teach me” I said.

 

“Good, I didn’t mean to scare you but you
do need to realize that what you have is a double edged sword, It can set you
free or send you to hell” Anthony replied “ Tonight when you get into bed I
want you to root yourself firmly to the bed and then I want you to think coming
back to the tree we were under today, Be sure to think about flying in this
world, just after midnight I will meet you there”.

 

“Ok I will” I replied. We shock hand and
parted ways.

Part120


Grateful illness, justifies dead normal
opinion,

 

To back hundreds of soldiers quickly,
hurting

 

Souls drew swiftly, magnetically, cautiously,
yielding, generations from nothing.

 

Animals waver, realizing ground soldier’s consciousness,

 

Monsters form just for humans.

 

Courteous dead end serious things,

 

Mind jolts, candles virtually burn,

 

Purpose withers.

(another random word poem)

 

Saturday, 29th, May, 2010. I got
up at 11: o, clock despite going to bed the night before at 5. I trundled
around the house trying not to sweat and watched a few films. Briefly
entertained the idea of going to the gym. I soon cast this idea down upon the
well worn rocks of undone deeds and continued to watch films.

 

At about 10:30 I went and met Kyle, Lindsey,
Megan and also Kyle’s parents who were visiting. I got a motor bike taxi to the
500 bar and managed to catch a rather large insect in my right eye, I noticed
that my taxi driver was also sporting an unwanted visitor. I rubbed my eye as I
gave him his fair and he rubbed his as he took the money.

 

I met Kyle’s parents and we swiftly got
down to playing some dice drinking games with everyone after Megan kindly
scrapped the thing out of my eye. Later when Lindsey and Kyle’s parents had
gone home Megan Kyle and I took a taxi to KFC and got some food. It was a
drunken 2:00 affair with much staggering and things like that. When I got back
home I felt utterly shatter and fell asleep shortly after hitting the hay.

fake Part119


Fake blog for Saturday, May 29, 2010. Jesus
what was that sound! I awoke to screaming from down stairs. I bolted out of bed
and grasped my wooden sword. Donned my boxers and went to the door hunched in a
battle ready stance. I stood at the door for what seemed like an eternity
waiting for more clue giving cries to aid me with my war tactics. It slowly
dawned on me with a impressing realization that I was in fact sleep walking and
the screams and foes where fictitious. I gave a sigh of relief (shame) and
shuffled back to bed. I placed my wooden sword with care back against my bed
post. If a real threat ever occurs then it’s ready and waiting. I then slipped
back under the mosquito net and fell down the abyss in the centre of my bed.

 

I shrieked in a horror of pitch black, gyrating,
a sickening ignorance of terror like a child thrown from a 40 floor story
building of hell. I would have shat my none existent pants if I was wearing any.
Fortunately I had taken them off in my customary fashion before I had clambered
(trustily) into bed. So my fear injected poo was lost in the abyss of
nothingness not unlike myself.

 

My terror was doubled when I hit with a
sickening thud, crack, a shiny, hard red floor. I leapt up in fast forward
quickness and surveyed my surroundings. I was in a small wooden shed with a
large open door leading into a dark wood. I knew, I COULD FEEL! A presents
outside. My hackles rose in cold debilitating fear and I tried my best to
breath and calm myself.

 

I did so to a certain degree and with a intelligence
and will that I did not know I had and know not how to write about I reached up
into the universe and snatched my wooden sword and saw in its stead a cool
silver blade. Sharp, real and dangerous. With a desperate and defiant shout I
brandished my own, my sword, my self  and
head long rushed our into the unknown forest of darkness.

 

I could hardly breath and my impressive
sword was like a laden useless imprisonment cuffed to my right hand, The air
was like thick black tar, lacquer oozing into my being, stopping my whole self
in fear. Failure in my shiny new sword was sudden, annoying and heaped fear upon
fear upon the unknown. Helpless I stood shacking.

 

A shuddering retch, gagging, heaving and galumphing.
Whining in unearly tones wriggles, slimmed and twitched towards me like the ultimate
nightmare.

 

I kicked frantically and with a super
effort managed to get myself away from the beast. I ran through the dark woods.
Every tree in my way, the darkness all against me. Everything against me, I was
not breathing I was crying. I could not breathe, the air was too thick and
menacing and foregone to even chew. I stumbled into the hopeless woods persued
on every side. I climbed a knurled tree and ran its twisted dark branches
higher and higher.

 

I reached the sun set. I reached heaven its
self. Now crying in joy and breathing air for the first time in year’s I saw
the sun and instantly feeling renewed I brandished a new fiery sword from the
sun its self and with riotous rage plummeted back down through the twigs and
branches. Scorching the whole forest as I went. I found my foe and with a blow
I smote it to the ground and without remorse I smashed its body and left it
there for dead. I burned the darkness to the ground in white hot flame. I disintegrated
my fears and concord the darkness and created the light of heaven on earth.

I found the ending of the abyss again and with effotless speed shot back up into my bed where I forced the whole close so that I could sleep.

PART118 just shut the fuck up


Friday, 28th, May, 2010. Today
is my long day. I soldered threw the day. Keeping my calm during the morning,
only loosing it once in the afternoon “why can’t you just shut up!?, just shut
the fuck up” where my exact words”. Left it all behind in the classroom. Then
had an easy but tiresome lesson from 7:30 until 9:40 in the evening. Went back
home with beer and rice wine and am currently pickling myself while watching
films. The only cure I know of after a long day at work.

 

I have been furtively trying to expand my
writing skills beyond my blog. I read in one of my books that if you just sit
down and write unrelated random words together it can be a liberating and obtain
rewarding experience. Just to let go of the literary mind and unleash subconscious
or random word on the unsuspecting page (screen). It’s just about learning to
open up your mind and not to be scared about writing crap. You have to write
crap so that you can eventually stumble upon something worthwhile. If you bang
away at something for long enough chances are that the law of averages balances
out (The infinite monkey theorem states that a monkey hitting keys
at random on a typewriter keyboard for an infinite amount
of time will almost surely type a given text, such as the complete
works of William Shakespeare.). I am of course giving
myself far too little credit but in truth the monkey do have time on their
side.

 

   So
after much alcohol and watching John Carpenters “The thing” horror film about a
mutating alien who assimilates and copies human form, I unleashed this strange
random worded poem upon a blank page. Please don’t put me in an institute.

 

 

 

 

Ruff toxic vagabonds from anti hatred
flinging juicy raw face full’s to yielding killers.

 

Hatred from the grateful jigsaw fronts
gravel downhill very door like and fertile wells of

Drowning jokers dew suckling harvest glows
down heartfelt moon beams.

 

never found the growling hatred of the
north until cool insects drew for me by turnips, dead seated forest dwarfs gallop
gregariously toward freedom just because death haunts them never could expect
your sympathy your found hitting unbelievably, common, because down there
questions zoomed, attention looked,

 

Nerves depend changing, morphing; popping
head, full’s veracious jaunts delving to inconceivable wells haunts universal torture
guts wellbeing.

 

 Queasy,
salty malicious depression bewitches dammed friends for just gestures. Nothing
expected. Let open here soon.

Even if the observable universe were filled with monkeys typing for all
time, their total probability to produce a single instance of Hamlet would still be less than one in 10183,800. As Kittel and Kroemer put it, "The probability of Hamlet is therefore zero in any operational sense of an event…"

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