part92, a bad dream


Wednesday, 28th, April. I had a proper
nightmare last night. Not just a bad dream but a real nightmare, reminiscent of
childhood ones. I dreamt that Sarah and I were captured by a group of marauding
soldiers (from Cuba I think). They beat me up and raped me. Out of the corner
of my eye I saw in the other room they were doing the same to Sarah. Afterwards
I stood alone in the dark room, Blood dripping down my legs trembling in fear,
waiting for the soldiers to return. One came back and I stole his knife and
killed him in a gruesome manner rage exploding in my heart as I stabbed the man
again and again until it was nothing but a bloody mass of nondescript meat beneath
me, I prowled around the camp dispatching other soldiers, By gouging out their
eye balls, biting their hands off and ripping open stomachs with my knife. I
ran off into the jungle and spent what seemed like an eternity in utter terror
being perused by the devil soldiers. I woke up with a start and immediately
though how I had not rescued Sarah. It was such an intense dream, I felt like I
had actually experienced it all and in the dream I was slowly turning insane.

 

I taught my kindergarten children in the
afternoon, The hour went quickly but it was very humid and I sweated profusely,
It was very windy as well. I sweated and then the cool wind blew on the back of
my neck chilling me to the bone. It’s a strange sensation being cold but at the
same time you’re sweating like a pig. I went to the new window school to print
some work sheets for the lesson at the Carrefour supermarket that evening. To
my dismay I found the office was closed and no one was there. I had a mild panic
at the prospect of having no lesson plan, a new class with very different levels
of English and two hours to teach. I calmed myself and took a taxi to the
supermarket and went to their offices and asked if I could use their computer
to print the work sheets. A very pretty girl with good English helped me by
showing me to the right computer. Firstly my usb memory stick didn’t work, then
I called Sarah to ask her to send the lesson plan to me by email, but then
Sarah told me that she could not log onto her email.

 

Thankfully a computer whiz shuffled into
the office and with a few deft clicks accessed my files on the usb and we were
ready to print. We got to print a few pages but then the ink ran out and they
had to go and get some more, when it was refilled we started again and got to
print a few more pages but then one of the office girls shut off her computer
because she was going home and it was connected to the printer so it stopped
and we had to wait for another 15 minutes for the computer to be turned on
again. I really felt like having a tantrum. I had an excruciating urge to jump
up and down wildly waving my arms around and screaming myself blue in the face.
Using all my Jedi mind tricks I refrained from doing this and instead focused
on breathing slowly.

 

Eventually after an hour and a half I
managed to print all the pages out. The lesson in comparison to the arduous
preparation was much easier. I just handed out loads of work sheets and tactfully
did as little talking as possible. After the class I thanked the girl who had
helped me and then got back home as soon as I possibly could, before anything
else could challenge me. My taxi driver tried to get a tip out of me. Of course
I didn’t give him one; instead I gave him a withering look and slammed the car
door as I got out. I said good morning to the guards as I entered our building
and finally made it home. Ahhhhhhhhhhh five days off in a row!!!

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3 thoughts on “part92, a bad dream

  1. Classic anxiety dream – All you have to do now is work out what you’re so anxious about – It’s not always the obvious (somehow letting Sarah down.)But the most amazing thing about your day is that I spent my working days having REALLY BAD RELATIONSHIPS WITH PRINTERS – I was famous for it at Q8. How weird is that?

  2. nothing quite like a good nightmare .can set you back all day, no doubt some thing was released. Keep the faith stay real.DAD.

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